Have you ever found your mind resisting when trying to take action for a desired goal?
We call this the caveman that lives in us.
The Resistance: ‘The Caveman’
This caveman does not have the capacity for language, but he has strong feelings and emotions through which he tries to ‘preserve us.’ This strategy has worked in the past, however, now in the 21st century, this caveman is not always right and adequate.
The Ally: ‘The Smart Man’
In addition to the caveman in our heads lives a smart man, who constantly tries to explain all the things that are happening around us (our perceived reality) to the caveman. He an intelligent sibling who has an unlimited capacity for language, very analytical and always thinks soberly and adequately against the reality of the 21st century.
The interesting part is when these talk to one another. In order for the caveman to ‘sell the idea’ to the modern man, he uses rationalisations wrapped in poor logic and justifications like, “It’s raining outside, don’t go for a run today, you’ll get sick,” hoping that the smart man will buy the idea and NOT take you out of your comfort zone which would lead to success in the future.
Here are some examples of better ‘Self-Talk’
“I can’t do that,” becomes, “I think I can do that – I just don’t know how, yet.”
“I just don’t have enough time,” becomes, “I prioritise what’s important to achieve my goals.”
“I’m very stressed out,” becomes, “Wow! I am really in demand!”
6 Recommendations for developing your own emotional resilience
- Become aware of your self-talk.
- Be aware of others’ self-talk around you.
- When forming a new habit consciously control your self-talk.
- Develop productive / constructive affirmations.
- Remind yourself of them daily.
- Catch yourself doing things right – affirm it straight away.
Unfortunately, many of us don’t make the effort to distinguish between rationalisation (rational + lies) and what is the real reason to not do something.
Only when we bring this internal dialogue to the surface (self-talk) and start justifying the caveman is when we can leave him speechless and silent.
Using self-talk and conducting this internal dialogue consciously, we do not allow the caveman to manipulate us, but allow the smart man take control and lead us towards our goals and dreams.
Daniel Ivanov, Consultant